It's your little ones' special day!
We all know you want to do the best for kids, and birthdays are one of those days to make sure your loved ones feel special and loved making it a day to remember. You want to make it a day where they feel like it is the best day of their lives, inviting their friends and the neighborhood for a day of fun and excitement.
You agree on a theme, blow up balloons, hire an inflatable water slide and get everything ready. But days before the party, you have to face the biggest question of all – who do you invite to your kid's party?
Many schools insist that you invite the whole classroom if your little one is having a party, even if it is outside school hours. This is because feeling left out as a kid is a horrible feeling to have – to know that some kids were invited and the others were not is not ethical.
In theory, this is an excellent thing because you don't want another kid the same age as yours to miss out on all that fun. But in a practical sense, is it possible to have a 30+ party on your lawn?
Firstly, throwing a party can be incredibly expensive, and the more people you invite, the more costs will spiral up. Also, most houses don't have lawns to accommodate such a huge number, and it will be a messy affair. After all, a party is where you want the kids to run around, play, and enjoy themselves – when you cramp it up with more people, it can get ugly.
Plus, your kid might want to celebrate with only a selected set of friends with who they regularly interact – it is natural. But as a parent, will you be making the right decision to invite a selected bunch of kids and leave out the rest? Let's discuss.
Psychologically, kids form friendships with others based on similar interests. It is only natural that your kid wants to celebrate her day with a selected set of friends that they treasure the most. This allows them to enjoy time and spend time freely and helps develop better bonds essential in their social development.
It's not that the other kids are inferior – it is just a natural selection that they feel happy and expressive with whom they are most comfortable.
So how can you, as a parent, make sure they invite only a set of people and not make the rest feel like they aren't left out? Here are a few tips.
1 Don't make a public announcement –
If you invite a few kids for a sleepover or a meal after a football game, that's perfectly fine. However, if you want to request a selected set of kids from the class, don't go around during a class or any other group meeting where it won't include all the kids present.
Wait until school finishes, and you can meet each of their parents and invite them individually. Sending out cards can still be exciting but try to see how you can reduce doing that and send their parents an invite on social media or any instant messaging platform.
Make sure to alert the parents who you are inviting that you are only reaching out to a set of kids and not all of them so that you can avoid them facing uncomfortable situations.
2 Take the time to explain to your kid –
Let your kid know that you are not inviting the entire class, and be mindful with whom they speak about the party. Of course, you cannot restrict these small minds, and word might go out but amicably try to see if you can settle them. If someone is not invited but was invited for previous parties, they might feel disappointed and build envy towards you and your kid. The best way to ensure that there aren't any hard feelings is by ensuring that it is properly communicated – to the kids and their parents.
3 Try to see if you can accommodate all –
This one is a personal recommendation – If you invite 20 friends, and the total number is about 23, what's another kid or two?" There's a big difference between inviting a small set of 8-9 kids and not inviting the rest but if you are inviting a somewhat large number, try your best to accommodate the others.
What if your kid doesn't get invited?
Getting to know that your kid missed the party that everyone else was invited to is a terrible feeling, and even worse when all of her close friends go to the party, and she doesn't go. This is hard to deal with as a parent because all you want to see is if your child is happy and feels accepted.
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